sushupti

Sri Sadgurubhyoh Namaha

I am there even if 'i' is not there. Existence is there even if 'I am' is not there.
I am not the body : Got a feeling that I am not the body. body is a vehicle. I am separate from body.
I am not the mind : Able to observe the mind/thoughts/feelings in a detached way. Earlier when there was peace, and tranquility of mind, I used to enjoy. When there is an external disturbance, mind is disturbed and I used to feel disturbed. Now, I offer my mind to god, and whatever emotions he puts there belongs to him. I started
accepting with open heart whatever divine is giving me. Everything is prasada. Good feeling, bad feeling, depression, fear, anxiety everything is a prasada from God/Guru. This attitude of acceptance is a panacea for all anxious thoughts.
I am not intellect : This is the toughest part. The sakshi bhava is also a thought in mind. Hence, separateness is still there. There seemed to be no escape from intellect. Complete surrender to the universal intelligence is the only way to escape this intellect trap. Let go of everything. I let go of the thought of attaining liberation/mukti. First observe the ego, become sakshi. Then observe the observer. There is a soothing silence. Intellect is also pain. The intellect part of 'i' also comes and goes. When it goes, what remains is something like a sushupti. deep
relaxation. Who is there ? From a blank, again the intellect raises. but how ?

In Guruseva
Atmajyothi